2010

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

- David Viscott

Can she just die now?

It's only the 6th of 2010 but she's already beaten up. The year kicked off with too many dramas. It wasn't something she had hoped to happen but it did. Perhaps she needs to take things one at a time. It's a lot easier to examine the outer than to decipher the inner.

She misses home although she isn't homesick. No, it isn't redundant. Just how it is. Call her a baby because she just is. The Munky had never been separated from her family and friends that when it happened, it sucks. It stacks up another concrete wall but it does falter, sometimes.

You could tell how much she's loved, unless you're plain dumb. But it can be overwhelming at times. She hates letting them down. The thought of it alone kills her. How can they have so much faith in her than she has for herself?

No, she's not giving up. She never did. But she feels like God's dumbest creation ever to walk on earth. This is a confession. Definitely out of her norm. Just taking a breather before going back to probabilities.

To mommy, thank you for knocking senses into my head. This place is a better place to live in when you care not just what you think, but sink in the voices of others too.

Daddy dearest, thank you for always being proud of me. For being a better poet than any man could be, your words calm me down.

My mak lang, thank you. Glad I could talk to you even though it was brief. I miss you; the bickering (how you made me carry your purse because you never understand the beauty of a handbag), the gossiping (how you remember each of my friends whom you've met) and simply because how much of a mother you are to me than you could've imagined.

The list goes on but my special thanks to kakak and Shiela for indirectly assuring me I'm not alone. To my Iowa darlings; kakak (Aida) and Hariz, thank you. It's a shit hole, but you both sure did a good job covering it with rainbow.

Thank you. Hope 2010 will sing a better tune.